Demanding Favors, Demanding Equality

In every relationship, you hit a point where things just aren't as intense as they used to b e. The people aren't the same as they were when things first started. Goals and priorities change, or the circumstances do. Things lose their intensity, the spark dims, passion cools.

Sounds like Santos and Obama need some counseling, maybe a weekend away together. Maybe Bush'll let them use his ranch for a little quality time.

Though it pains me, I've got to give Bush credit where due. He and Uribe had a certain chemistry that made Plan Colombia blossom. Rainbows shone reflected in the hundreds of 7.62mm shell casing spit out by all those shiny new Gatling guns, and birds sang, except where they'd all been wiped out by surplus Agent Orange.

UriBush was a match made in post-9/11 heaven.

For the record: I'm not singing the praises of Bush, Uribe or Plan Colombia. They just got along well, and from 2002-08 things were peachy, in a far-right, "If you're not with us, you're against us" kinda way.

Then, things changed.

Obama's policy focus was on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and on domestic issues like The Economy and healthcare reform. Neither he nor his inner circle knew diddly about those mysterious papists south of the Rio Grande, except that a fair few aren't too fond of the US (for, some would argue, some perfectly legitimate reasons). When it did come to Latin America, the Obama administration cared more about Mexico's ultra-violent drug war and a border about as secure as a bank vault made out of used Kleenex and guarded by a comatose paraplegic than about Colombia's relatively low-intensity insurgency and ultra-violent past.

Concurrently, Colombia's been undergoing some shifts in character(s) as well, with the election of Juan Manuel Santos as president. After being elected on a platform that boiled down to "Uribe 2.0," he has spent the last couple months trying frantically, and in the vein of Leonard Nimoy, paradoxically to say "I am Uribe" and "I am not Uribe."

A significant part of that distancing-but-not-distancing agenda (kind of like a beagle on a bungee cord) has been an insistence on reforming the US/Colombia relationship. Completely understandably, Santos wants a partnership of equals and rejects the idea of coming to the US with his hat in his hands. Regarding his meeting with Obama, he trumpeted a dialogue "de tú a tú," with the informal "you" implying a more casual, amicable standing between friends and colleagues, but more importantly, between equals, with none of the power imbalance often perceived in the dealings of the two nations.*

Asserting one's sovereignty and right to be treated with dignity is all well and good, until it's followed up with, "...So why aren't you giving us as much money?"

• Putting your foot down and insisting that you won't be talked down to: Good!
• Asserting your status as an equal: Another smart move!
• Grousing that your Gold Card has been taken away: .... Uh, what?

In my capacity as counselor and international relationships therapist, I think we all need to take a few deep breaths and calm down. People are changing, priorities are getting shuffled around, the external factors are shifting. A good relationship celebrates these changes and learns to love the other for the novelty. Pining for how things were can only lead to disappointment. If both parties can't learn to compromise, and to give the other all due consideration and attention, maybe it's time to back off and evaluate: "Is this giving me (and the nation of millions that I represent) what I want and need?"

If not, well, I reference the eternal Sting:


Man, I can't believe the State Department isn't paying me for this.

Send lawyers, guns and money,
J.

*Many Colombians, like the Philipinos and the Mexicans, have conflicting feelings on the US. On the one hand, they're grateful for the support and friendship coming from the US, especially in the last decade. That said, they also realize that they wouldn't have all these problems if it weren't for the drugs that Americans want so very badly, and they're none too fond of the rather condescending tone copped by the States. It's one short leap from patronage to patronizing! They shouldn't take it personally, though; Uncle Sam's holier-than-thou attitude is equal opportunity, proving once again that jackassery is a non-discriminating, area-of-effect weapon.